At the Airport

I arrived at the airport well-before the flight. One entire hour, minute less, minute more. With all this ridiculous hoo-ha about security in airports, they expect us to arrive 3 hours before departure. Like I have this kind of time to spare, honestly! What do they expect.

So I turn up at the Kenya Airways check-in, sweating lightly.

- Good afternoon, sir! Where will you be travelling today sir?
- To Nairobi.
- You mean on the 8:45 leaving in 40 minutes, sir? (ok, not quite one hour beforehand, but still...!)
- That's right. Hurry up because I don't want to miss it.
- I am sorry sir, but check-in is closed for this flight. You should have arrived 3 hour...
- WHAT!!?!?!
- I am saying, sir...
- I DON'T GIVE A F*** WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. GET ME ON THIS FLIGHT NOW!!!
- But sir, I really...
- I AM AN IMPORTANT... VERY IMPORTANT DELEGATE TO THE WORLD SOCIAL FORUM? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!?!? DO YOU KNOW YOUR COUNTRY IS HOSTING IT AND BECAUSE OF YOU I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE PART IN THIS HUGELY IMPORTANT EVENT?!?!? OF WHICH I AM POSSIBLY THE MOST IMPORTANT UK REPRESENTATIVE?!?!?!
- I am sorry sir, but airport regulations...
- I REALLY DON'T GIVE A F*** ABOUT AIRPORT REGULATIONS!! THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME WITH BRITISH AIRWAYS!! FOR ONCE THAT I TRUST AND GIVE MY MONEY TO AN AFRICAN AIRLINE, THIS IS HOW YOU PAY ME BACK!?!?!?!
- Sir, I am not in a position...
- ARE YOU GOING TO LET ME ON BOARD OR NOT!??!?!?!?
- I am sorry sir... but...
- FINE! LET ME TELL YOU, I'LL MAKE SURE NO UK ORGANISATION, EVER, EVER AGAIN, BOOKS WITH KENYA AIRWAYS. I'LL CALL *** WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ARRANGING TRAVEL FOR ALL THE UK CHARITIES AND NGOS, AND MAKE SURE YOU ARE OFF THEIR LISTS. YOU BETTER START LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB, MY FRIEND. AND IF AFRICA REMAINS UNDERDEVELOPED, YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELVES TO BLAME!!!

I know, perhaps the last line was a bit out of context. But guess what? They didn't make me pay a penny to reschedule the flight to the following day!

Lesson for you plebs: Provided you are loud enough, and pretend to be important enough, sooner or later no security rule will apply to you! Fabulous!